since i was a child, i think i shouldn't live in this world...i never wanna be like this...everything i do, never achieve anything... actually, what's role am i doing this whole life? i know i'm not supposed to said this...but now i'm feel useless, stupid and keep burden everyone..i'm just like live for nothing..and forgot my duty as Allah's servant. maybe that's the main point why i've live like this...
sometime i feel i wanna die soon, but i can't...i've still have my own dreams to achieve on..and my religious charity still not enough...i cannot die easily..i must do something and back to Allah. That's  the first thing i wanna do...maybe everyone can't accept me as the way i are, but Allah will.. i love my family and friends..i wanna be a good human, adhere, useful for everyone  who needed me even i'm not perfect like anybody else..i don't wanna die nothing...if i die one day, i wanna obey my Allah SWT, follow Prophet Muhammad SAW sunnah and go to the right path.. Insya'Allah... i don't wanna die easily sounds like suicide. it's HARAM. i don't want increase sins anymore... Ya Allah, please guide me...